CHATTING OR CHEATING
Sheri Meyers, Psy. D.

Has Your Online Friendship Crossed the Line?

A 60 Second Chatting or Cheating  Reality Check 

Has your online friendship crossed the line?  Sure, it’s easy to make excuses and deny what’s happening by telling ourselves, “It’s just innocent flirting,” or “We’re only Facebook friends,” or “I’m just texting with a co-worker, that’s all!” How can you be sure that what you’re doing is really innocent and harmless, or if you’re slipping down the slippery slope towards having  emotional sex?

Take this 60-second reality check quiz from my book “Chatting or Cheating” to see whether it’s just chatting or if you’re really cheating.

Answer Truthfully….

 Are you…    

1. Exchanging personal, intimate, and confidential information (and/or had offline contact) with an online ‘friend’ that your partner doesn’t know about?

2. Telling your ‘friend’  you’re  single when you’re not?

3. Sending or receiving flirtatious emails or texts?

4. Thinking romantic thoughts about your Friend  (i.e. what life would be like if you were together)?

5. Spending a large amount of time (in person or online) talking, sharing, confiding with your friend and not telling your partner about it? Or worse, lying about who you are with?

6. Sexting—i.e. sending  or receiving a sexy message or photo?

7. Finding yourself sexually and/or emotionally  aroused when you think about your friend?

8. Imagining you are in bed with your ‘friend,’ while making love with your partner?

9. Secretly purchasing intimate gifts for your friend or for you to wear while online with your friend?

10. Visiting or participating in a sex chat room with your friend?

11. Doing anything sexual using your webcam (or your imagination)?

12. Sharing your sexual fantasies, masturbating and/or mutually masturbating?

Answering YES to questions 1-5 should set off some blaring alarms in your head that you are definitely rapidly sliding down the EMOTIONAL SEX slippery slope into the CHEATING ZONE.

Answering YES to questions 6-12 is a strong indicator that you are ALREADY IN the CHEATING ZONE.

These behaviors put your primary relationship at risk, and if you care about saving it, you need start pouring the energy, time, and focus you’ve been giving to your “friend,” back into your relationship, fast.

If you’ve been seeking a thrill and fulfillment from outside sources, it usually means something is missing in your relationship with your partner.  If that’s the case, it’s time to take a serious, hard look at what’s really going on and fix it.

A good place to start is by reading the first chapter of my book, available here.

 It’s totally free, and in it you’ll learn just how easily your seemingly innocent friendship can transform into a full blown affair once EMOTIONAL SEX  takes over.  You’ll gain further insight into your current situation and the 6 main relationship vulnerabilities that open the door to cheating.

The cost of an affair, be it physical, emotional, or cyber, can be devastating to a relationship.   It’s never too late to turn things around, even if you’ve already crossed a line (or if your partner has).

The roadmap to healing starts when you take off the blinders of affair-denial and become affair-aware. 

This article was written by Dr. Sheri Meyers, America’s leading love and intimacy expert.

You Might Also Like:

• Is Your Partner Chatting or Cheating on Facebook?
• Infidelity and Emotional Sex: How to Tell if You’re Chatting or Cheating
• How to Confront Your Cheating Partner: 4 Things You Need to Know and Do
• Chatting or Cheating? How to Tell – Galtime Interview with Dr. Sheri Meyers