How to Avoid Cheating Again-Dr. Sheri Meyers

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Have you Cheated? How to Avoid Cheating Again.

If you’ve broken the bonds of your faithfulness once, to do it again unfortunately becomes easier. To not cheat again takes a lot of consciousness and a choice; a promise to your partner – but even more to yourself – to live with radical honesty and to be in alignment and integrity within yourself.

To avoid cheating you have to know your vulnerabilities and be vigilant in avoiding the situations and affair breeding grounds that make you susceptible. Truthfully, you are vulnerable: you’ve cheated, and if it was at all good and you got your needs met, the ‘make-me-feel-good’ part of your brain is going to want to do it again. You’ve got to learn faithfulness in order to not cheat again. Believe it or not, faithfulness is not part of our innate programming. It’s a learned behavior. Faithfulness starts with creating a bond with yourself to be impeccably honest so that if you feel yourself sway, you feel like sending a text to your ‘lover’, you feel yourself attracted to someone new and want to approach them (on the internet or in person), or you feel yourself rationalizing any kind of behavior that can lead to cheating: tell yourself ‘NO!’.

Don’t set yourself up. Avoid your former lover like the plague. Avoid places that you used to go when having contact (in whatever form that contact took). Avoid situations that are a setup. This is where your honesty comes in. Know your setups and don’t go there.

The best way to avoid cheating again is to take FULL responsibility for your behavior and the damage it has caused to your relationship. Own your behavior, the reasons WHY you strayed, the collateral damage created by your choice, and make it your goal to rebuild trust and restore your credibility. This involves keeping your promises no matter what. Being a person of absolute integrity. A person of your word. A person who YOU can trust to make a promise and keep it no matter what. From this place of integrity and self-trust (not fear of loss) you build a new relationship with your partner.

In order to not cheat again, you’ve got to come clean with your partner, stay alert for temptation and choose your ‘friends’ wisely. Don’t even consider flirting. Admit when you’re attracted and remember cheating starts with chatting.

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